Arggggh! Why cant i be 'Normal'...?

Seriously, i just started socializing then its just stop.
What happen exactly? Is it me? Well, whatever it is..its must be me *sigh*... Why cant i be just like the other clubbers? Having fun, drinking.....dancing and stuff.. you know, stuff. Every time i go to a new club, 1st thing that will cross my mind-when its gonna be over- i know, i know... thats sux. Usually i will bring my camera & if im not mistaken, there are only 3 clubs that i went twice... the others? Guess what.. Once is enough.
---> That pic, we took at The Firefly Club, we crash somebody's birthday party and we dont know who the hell is that girl in the middle. Apparently, our names are not our own name that night...But im grateful to have friends like this...Luv 'em! At least they are still around, even though i dont really enjoy the environment...at least they make the best Girls Nite Out!
<--- The only & crazy sis that make me feel 'normal'-my crazy cousin! Gosh! Wish she was here but too bad she working in Singapore. Hope i can visit her someday!! Im having so much fun 'chatting' with her just now-via the net... Sharing stories & she make me LOL! Need her advise bout this girly stuff, im sux at this! I started to notice this last year when every girl wants look pretty but im trying to look 'macho'..what a crap! Just imagine there were roses around you but then there this one grass sticking out from the beautiful roses, that really spoil the view.
Or am i trying to hard to please everybody? Thats one thing to think about... may be im still searching & knowing 'myself'? If i dont like it, then why force myself to like it? Hmmm......will keep that in mind. Cant wait to see my cousin in July though!!!