I lose some of my friends because of this. Because i cant forgive, if i cant forgive then that mean i cant love them... I do want to love them, to be friends again but then i dont want them to hurt me again. Why am i so afraid of changes?
Then again, if i so in love with myself, i should be happy. Not worrying myself about getting hurt over and over again. I guess that makes you human. I should be stronger now. But what if......
I envy these two pups. They have each other, for now. I took this pic last sunday. The brown one, i called him Rover and the black one...Im not sure which pup is that, because i have 3 black pups~ 2 female and 1 male. Actually they are not mine, but since i 'attached' to them, i called them mine.
Back to the story, these pups have each other...like friends, bestfriends. I wish i could have 1 bestfriend (since its so hard for me to 'have' bestfriend, i guess 1 is ok) who 'can' understand me. Owh...i do have bestfriends, but i want girl bestfriend. Someone who understand girl thing and someone you can hang out with on GNO. But then.....Since i cant trust anyone, im very thankful to the Man Above (beside myself, He's the only one that i can trust). Hoping that someday He will listen and do some 'miracle'.
I always thought that if i do the right thing, treat people right, then good thing will happen to me. But then.....
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